CrossContamination
by Martha and cats
Summary: Once again, brought to you by Writer's Block from the Truth With a Capital T universe: A random attempt to work out some plot ideas for the story... and yes, I'm kidding about most of it. Mostly. grin 'A Play in One Act' Highlander Buffy Harry Potter


**Cross-Contamination**   
By Martha (and cat) 

Have you ever gotten into a really strange argument with your Muse? Not the usual kind, where you find yourself quibbling over some fictive's sudden urge to cross-dress (X-men + Rocky Horror Show), but a more devious kind of conversation... 

(**Scene:** AUTHOR sits at computer desk, chewing on a pencil and staring at a story outline. METHOS is sprawled happily on the bed behind her, feeding snacks to the various plotbunnies.) 

**AUTHOR:** "But Harry couldn't be an Immortal, he would have never grown older."   
**METHOS:** "Ah, but he didn't really die, right?"   
**AUTHOR:** "This is stupid, if anyone was going to be an Immortal it would be Ron, shades of Richie don't'cha'know."   
**METHOS:** "But if he hasn't died, how would anyone know he's an Immortal?"   
**AUTHOR:** "I suppose I could always kill him."   
**RON:** "WHAT? You will _not_ kill me. I refuse."   
**AUTHOR:** "Where'd you come from? This is a private conversation you know. Besides I said 'suppose'."   
**METHOS:** "There are other ways to figure out he's Immortal you know." waves hands vaguely "Spider-sense and all that."   
**AUTHOR:** "Or having people chasing him around with swords. That tends to work rather nicely."   
**RON:** "I refuse to die."   
**METHOS:** "Exactly!"   
**RON:** "That's not what I meant!"   
**AUTHOR:** "Oh chill out, I wasn't going to kill you off anyway. I already promised McGonagall."   
**DEX (cat):** _Yes, but I didn't._   
**METHOS:** "You have a telepathic cat?"   
**AUTHOR:** "No actually, she has me, but that's besides the point. No dramatic death scenes. Not yet anyways."   
**METHOS:** "But I love a good death scene, they're so poetic. And temporary."   
**AUTHOR:** "Shaddup Methos."   
**SPIKE:** "Death isn't all that bad, I've certainly had a bit more fun."   
**RON:** "Who the hell are you?"   
**AUTHOR:** sighs "I'm not vamping anyone Spike, now leave off."   
**RON:** "He's a vampire?"   
**AUTHOR:** "Yes, but he's a good vampire. Sort of."   
**SPIKE:** smiles fang-fully   
**AUTHOR:** "Oh will you quit that. Be nice or I'll sick Draco on you."   
**DRACO:** "You will NOT."   
**AUTHOR:** "Oh good grief. Where are you all coming from?" checks under the bed   
**METHOS:** "We're not mice, we're fictives."   
**DEX (cat):** _The difference?_   
**AUTHOR:** "Okay, everybody stop it. Dex, don't eat the fictives. Fictives, stop teasing the cat."   
**METHOS:** "You still haven't figured out how to find out Ron's Immortal."   
**GILES:** "Or that Ginny is a Slayer."   
**RON:** "She's WHAT?"   
**DEX (cat):** _It's not that far-fetched you know. She's got the whole evil-bait thing down quite nicely._   
**GILES:** "Slayers are not bait, Slayer _sidekicks_ are bait. It's in the handbook."   
**RON:** "Stay away from my sister!"   
**AUTHOR:** "Well it's not like Hermione would stand for it."   
**HERMIONE:** "Exactly."   
**AUTHOR:** "GET OUT OF MY ROOM!"   
**DRACO:** "So what, they all get to be superheroes and I get nothing?"   
**AUTHOR** "One more word out of you and I'll turn you into a newt."   
**DRACO:** "I've been a ferret once, that's quite enough."   
**RON:** "And such a cute ferret too!"   
**DRACO:** "Why you--"   
**AUTHOR:** "Removus Wandus!"   
**METHOS:** "I can't believe you just said that."   
**AUTHOR:** "Well it worked, didn't it?"   
**GILES:** "Mangling Latin is never acceptable. Really now."   
**AUTHOR:** "Alright, let's take a moment-- Spike you may NOT bite Draco! Bad fictive!"   
**DRACO:** "If Ron gets to be Immortal, so do I."   
**AUTHOR:** "You're evil enough already, trust me on this one."   
**HERMIONE:** "So what am I?"   
**AUTHOR:** "What?"   
**HERMIONE:** "Well if Ron's an Immortal and Ginny's a Slayer, what am I?"   
**AUTHOR:** "Um, you're Hermione."   
**HERMIONE:** "So everyone else in my group is unique except for me?"   
**AUTHOR:** "There has to be a sane one!"   
**DEX (cat):** _And it's certainly not the Author..._   
**AUTHOR:** "EVERBODY _OUT_!" 

(Ensuing chaos edited to maintain PG-13 rating...) 


End file.
